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RELATIONSHIPS
Relationship
problems do not occur overnight. It takes time and "relationship
neglect" in order for significant problems in your relationships
to develop. When you or your partner do not talk about hurt feelings,
the hurt soon turns into resentment. The next stage is "emotional
deadening." In this stage you feel like room-mates instead of intimate
partners.
Successful relationships depend on mutual commitment, shared values, and
good communication. At some point in every relationship, couples encounter
issues that require the ability to communicate effectively.
A key to good communication is the ability to talk about problems as they
arise. Too often couples wait until it is too late and small problems
build into major crises. Listening is also crucial to effective communication.
When we feel the need to be right, we lose sight of our partner's feelings
and communication breaks down.
Questions
to ask yourself when considering seeking help:
Are there
issues I avoid talking about in my relationship and do I want to look
at why I avoid them?
Do I prevent myself from expressing my feelings when I first become aware
of them?
Do I keep my hurt feelings inside until they show up later as anger?
Does my fear of being criticized or rejected stop me from expressing my
hurt and anger?
Do I have difficulty in listening to my partner and trying to understand
his or her point of view?
What did I learn from my parents about communicating and how does this
either help or hurt my relationship today?
Do I want to take steps in repairing my relationship?
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